The New Face of Crime.

Oddly enough I ended up at Macey's the other day. It's a grocery store where I live. I haven't been there since I was a little kid, probably about the time when wal-mart showed its face around my neck off the hood. Anyhow, I was sitting in my truck waiting for my friend to come out, when i noticed an old man backing out of his parking space at about mach 4. Normally I wouln't have taken much notice except for the fact that he was backing out a MASSIVE truck in between two MASSIVE s.u.v's. I mean picture how you'd view Kronos, the titan of old, thats how big these vehicles were. I just don't understand the logic behind the six inch lift on the family vehicle. Mom must be fighting crime in her off time, and need a lifted ride so she can just casually pass over helpless civilians. And after dropping the kids off at soccer practice, rushes to the aid of wonder woman and the green lantern to fend the world from simon barsinister. But there's a new villian afoot SuperMOM and i'm here to blow the whistle on this face of latter day terror. As i was saying this man was backing out of his parking stall, when he CRASHED into the vehicle next to him. Without exiting the vehicle to see the damage, he quickly righted himself and began to back out again. This time smashing the vehicle on the left side of him. He then finished his exit and swiftly galloped out of the parking lot at the speed of sound. (Yes, a dodge can go the speed of sound. It's the hemi.) As I surveyed the damage on both S.U.V's (I don't know how they pass crash test ratings if they can't take a bump in a parking lot.) I was horrified at the carnage. Both back quarter panels for each vehicle looked as though A Boeing 747 had flown into the side.
I got back to my truck and sat in silence. Thoughts rushed through my head, all sorts of crazy stories and scenarios played out. My concern for the general populus grew, and I realized that it was my duty to at least blog about the new face of criminals everywhere. Ladies and gentleman you can spot pure terror, those who will strike fear into the heart of every american. You can find them on street corners, In your local pharmacy, sitting next to you in the doctors office, even in your living room playing with your children. I'm talking of course about Senior Citizens. The Blue haired old woman in your rocking chair knitting an "african." (Afghan for those of you who don't speak their dialect.) The sweet old man who gives your children candy from his pocket. Who suspects them? Who would even think of pointing the finger of a woman who hasn't left her television room in a week because she's waiting for an old episode of The Price is Right to come on so she can admire that handsome "Bob Barker." I'll tell you who would. THIS GUY. I've seen them in action. Even when caught red-handed they are masters of smoke and mirrors. You'd never even think to denote an evil design in their undertones. But it will happen. It's an epidemic. Soon they will realize their own powers and a movement will begin. They will tip the balance of powers until our worlds fate will be decided by those who have been riddled with rheumatoid arthritis. I beseech each of you, take the necessary precautions now to stop this dilemma from occuring. Our lovely President Barack Obama has done his part. Due to his socialized health care plan, those criminals over sixty five will not receive health care. They will be deemed to old to fix. Left to their own devices. See how their wholistic cures really work..................... All joking aside. Make sure your grandparents are in fit condition to have a driver's license. But give them hugs while you do it. Stop the pandemic before it begins.